Scenes from the Past Few Days (part two)

Facebook has this nifty little feature in which it reminds you of something you have done in years past. I don’t know what it’s called–memories? remembers? Whatever. The point is that I kind of like it. I am a sucker for nostalgia. Of course, if it reminded me that I was sitting on my ass doing nothing at this time three years ago, I would probably hate the thing and deactivate it permanently.

As it is, three years ago at this time I was on a cycling trip from Thailand, through Cambodia, to the Mekong Delta region of Vietnam. While not all the scenery was spectacular, it was a good memory and I enjoyed being reminded of it. This is doubly true because we really can’t travel right now.

An interesting consequence of this was that my friend Craig from England, who was on the trip with me, also got a reminder. He shared it with me through FB messenger and added a comment or two. I replied, though still in bed, only to find him calling me. I scrambled out of bed, threw on some clothes and sat down for a chat.

We talked about the trip and the one we had done ten months earlier in Vietnam. We chatted about the characters on the trip and how the cycling trips were in general. We exchanged what few updates we had–it’s been three years and some people are in the wind. Even three years later there are some details which need rehashing.

The two of us were meant to be in South Africa right now cycling through the winelands. Things didn’t turn out for us, or the world, like we thought they would, but we are determined to get there some day. Neither one of us is giving up on the idea that we will be able to travel again some day.

It was a good chance to catch up. After the nostalgia, we talked about the lockdowns (past and current) and how we’ve been doing. We spoke about our current situations, relationships, hardships, Christmas plans, and fitness levels. I have to admit, I had better do something quickly before I become too fat to get on my bike.

If you haven’t reached out to an old friend in a while, I urge you to do it now. It will do you both some good.

Something in the Air

Although I have written a few positive posts about my commute, I have written a lot more grouchy posts. Maybe it is the nature of commuting.  Whenever anyone asks me about my commute at work, I answer that it isn’t bad.  However, when my friends ask me, I often relate that it has become frustrating and boring.  That is how I normally see my commute.  Yesterday was a completely different story.

I got on the subway and spotted one of my regular bus commuters. I don’t know her name, though I think she has told it to me more than once, but I have dubbed her birds tattoo–the reason is obvious.  We often ride the bus together, but I had never seen her on the subway before.  We enjoyed a good conversation on the subway about her work.  She is a dog groomer and I have learned so much about how expensive it is to groom an animal.  I will never complain about the cost of my haircuts again.

At the bus platform, I met a guy who had no idea that they had cancelled the GTA pass. We spoke at length about this and both wondered why they didn’t have a GTA pass you could load onto the presto card–this is all payment and fare stuff that you probably don’t care about if you don’t live in the GTA (Greater Toronto Area).  However, it does illustrate how conversational I was yesterday.

When we finally boarded the bus–because the subway ride was full of its usual delays–we had talked enough and went to separate seating areas. In front of me, there was a rather intense looking person with a full skull tattoo–yes, you read that correctly.  His entire skull was tattooed with a nice motif of faces including an aboriginal nation’s chief that stared back at me for the whole trip.  He took the outside seat and rested his bag on the inside seat.  The bus was full and I thought it was a bit selfish of him, but he looked menacing enough that nobody was going to take the seat.

However, when he realized that a young lady was struggling with her stuff, he took his bag off the seat and helped her sit down. I didn’t specifically hear their conversation, but I noticed that so many people were talking to complete strangers on the bus.  I could tell because they all started like conversations do with strangers–and wandered all over the map like conversations with strangers do.  There was stuff about art school, drugs, Christmas, dating, travelling, eating….and no complaints about the bus service.  I heard actual genuine laughter all around me.  I can’t recall the last time I experienced that on the bus.

There must have been something in the air.

Time Catches Us All

Upon first glance, Today’s Perfect Moment, is somewhat quiet in nature. However, don’t let it fool you.  It has its own depth.

After a long day that began with a little bit of a lie in, and continued in the dentist chair and ended in a hot classroom administering practice speaking tests, I was thoroughly beat. The bus ride didn’t do me any favours either, but since I complain about commuting too much, I would rather just leave that out.

From the stop to my home is a short straight walk. It’s monotony is only broken by beautiful sunsets over the Asian market, or either stationary or moving obstacles on the sidewalk.  moving obstacles include walkers, people cycling on the sidewalk (don’t even get me started on this one) and people not paying attention because they are looking at their phones.  Stationary obstacles include construction, misplaced furniture for garbage pickup, fallen trees, and really slow moving walkers.

Today, there was a stationary obstacle. The city had replaced some electrical equipment (giant green box that in my childhood was cool but positively reeks with uncoolness in my adulthood) and needed to replace the sidewalk in front of it.  To ward off mischievous types, they put up a plastic fence all around it–I’ll let you know if anyone manages to defeat the maximum security.

Rounding the obstacle, I spotted my neighbour out walking her super cute and super intelligent dog Benny. I stopped to have a pleasant conversation. We spoke for a while and wondered why Benny was on a leash.  She explained that he had gone deaf and no longer heeded her calls.  I was going to accuse the dog of indifference, but thought it unfair.

I guess time catches us all. Earlier in the day, my hygienist remarked that she had known me for some 18 years.  She wondered where time went.  I could have told her where, but I thought that too was unfair.

Dear readers, you know me well. So what was the Perfect Moment?

A Good Kind of Quiet

This is how I imagine a good kind of quiet.

Friday had a weird component to it that only now, upon reflection, I understand as Today’s Perfect Moment. Upon further reflection, I wonder if those are the Most Perfect Moments.

I work in a noisy environment. I don’t mean mechanically or electronically noisy, but people noisy.  In the halls, the students shout over one another in a multitude of languages in a multitude of voice tones.  The classrooms may have moments of silence, but they aren’t coordinated with each other and rare are the moments of total silence in the school when class is on.

The teacher’s room isn’t any better. You’d think with all the noise of the students and the multitude of questions still being fielded on the way to the teacher’s room, upon entry things would get silent.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  The teacher’s room is a place of banter, grammatical pondering, and a place for bitching about students, the TTC (Toronto Transit Commission–or Take The Car), politics, and marijuana.  It is also a place where talk about the latest episode of Rupaul’s Drag Race and Game of Thrones seem to happen–yes, a minefield of spoilers.

Friday afternoon though, for perhaps an hour or so around 12:30, things got quiet. People were walking around doing things, but not commenting.  People were at their computers, and actually concentrating.  Despite eating lunch with someone, I found myself using fewer words, and commenting less.  It was a good kind of quiet.

This is not to say there was no noise. People talked, but tones were hushed.  Keyboards clacked, but with less insistency.  Doors opened and closed, but it was just quieter.  It was just Perfect.

Acquaintances

I have written several posts about the “unique” people on my bus route–the two fisted drinker, or the woman with balloons etc. However, my commute is full of hundreds of other people I rarely mention because they are just like so many other people we interact with every day but do not really know.  Yeah, we might nod our heads in recognition, or subconsciously know which seat they are going to take, but we don’t know them.  These kinds of relationships can last for years.

On my commute, I usually make a point of saying thank you and goodbye to the driver when I exit. One blogger, Quinn (whom we miss) told me that in her village, the driver got a greeting upon arrival and departure.  I think this kind of etiquette is needed even more these days.  This is probably because it is so lacking.

Yesterday, after I had boarded the bus and selected a seat way in the back, I recognized the driver climbing onto the bus. We have shared many brief conversations over the years of my commute.  She is friendly and funny–the kind of driver that makes the commute easier.

I hadn’t seen her in quite some time. Bus drivers have shifts and so do I.  As I was leaving the bus, we had a chance to speak a bit more.  She wondered where I have been and why I was on the bus so late.  I wondered the same things about her.  What a nice way to end a horrible commute.  I got off the bus a bit happier.  Today’s Perfect Moment appears in so many unusual places.

Three Conversations

Conversation one

I had tarried at work, stealing a few minutes talking to someone who would soon be on the other side of the world, rather than racing home. Since our conversations always seemed effortless and those opportunities drawing to a close, I felt it important to spend some time there. It seamed like a good trade, but it put me into afterschool traffic and the start of rush hour.

Conversation two

I was walking down the street, heading for the subway, feeling my leg tighten with every step. My head wasn’t down, but it wasn’t scanning the crowd.  Perhaps I was lost in thought, dreaming of a vacation I am uncertain as to whether I can take.

“Hey!” I heard a voice accompanied by a tap on the shoulder. It was a former colleague.  I hadn’t seen her in years, maybe ten.  In that time, many people had come and gone, most of them taking their names with them.  Whether luck, or persistent memories, or something else, I grabbed the name from memory quickly.

“Kelly!? Wow!  How nice to see you.”

We chatted about life and work, and work and life. I don’t really want to go into great detail about the conversation, except to say that she was more open and honest than I remember her being. Of course the passage of time, or my reluctance to nostalgize people may be the responsible for that impression.  Like all of us, she had had her ups and downs, but she seemed to be rolling with the punches as good as anyone.

All I can say for sure is that I walked away from that conversation feeling better than I had all day. Maybe it was the novelty of it.  Maybe it was reconnecting with someone.  Maybe I just felt good that I had made enough of an impression upon her that she was willing and able to pick me out of a crowd and spend some time talking to me after so long.

It’s kind of cool when that happens

Conversation three

Shortly after that, I found myself waiting for the subway with a current colleague. We boarded the subway only for it to leave the platform, stop halfway through the tunnel, reverse and deposit us back on the platform again to wait for the next train.

I glanced at my horoscope on my way to work this morning. This is what it said.

Travels plans can get derailed and mechanical breakdowns can catch you off guard. Give yourself extra time during your commutes and have patience with others. It’s an accident-prone day.

Despite the fact that we work together, we had a fantastic discussion about art and the creation of art and how it relates to Taoism. Being a creative person, I waxed lyrical about the opportunities that blogging offers me to write and express myself.  She explained what she wanted to get out of her art.

It never ceases to amaze me how many creative people there are; all hoping for their ideas to manifest themselves in this world.  My creative juices were stirred.

Three conversations. Three Places.  Three People.  That’s some pretty easy math.

 

What A Conversation Yields

Today’s Perfect Moment is a celebration of what I call casual networking. Casual networking is not some new Linkedin buzzword.  Casual networking is what used to be called conversation and people looking out for you.  Before you say “huh?”, please continue reading.

So, my mother had a notion to take a vacation somewhere. She hit upon the idea of going to Ireland.  However, other than her children, she didn’t know who to go with.  Drawing upon my experience of a group tour, she wondered if there were group tour for senior citizens.  I opined that if there were group trips for any number of niche audiences (knitters, wrestling fans, heavy metal enthusiasts, jack Russell owners, recovering alcoholics, bingo addicts and magicians, there must be trips for seniors.

Sadly, her Google skills seemed to let her down. She found lots of trips, but none for seniors.

To understand the idea of casual networking, you must understand that ESL teachers, perhaps starved for conversation with their students, tend to have rapid fire conversations involving multiple people and topics in a crowded room. The topics range from grammar to vacations to the aforementioned heavy metal boat cruise.  So it should be no surprise that I mentioned the idea of a seniors tour to some coworkers, wondering if their mothers or fathers had ever been on one.

Today, one of my coworkers and oldest friends at work said that she saw a Seniors Tour Company two blocks from our work. Since there is a traffic light there, she often had to stop there, and it had kind of faded from consciousness through repetition.  Our conversation brought it to the forefront.

As a result I was able to get a brochure and spend a few months discussing the trip with one of the representatives. If not for casual networking, or talking with people, it never would have happened.

 

The Woman With The Painting

I am a victim of curiosity.

I was on the bus, waiting for it to depart, and not really paying attention to my surroundings. After a week of disinterested reading, I finally found something that held my attention.  It was for that reason, as well as overall tiredness, that I didn’t notice her get on the bus and sit across from me.

I looked up and when I saw her I smiled. Fortunately for my sense of self worth, she smiled back. I am pretty sure that this is always a good sign. I noticed that she was holding a transparent bag containing what appeared to be an art canvas.  She had the front facing her, so I could not see what, if anything, was on the front.  She was holding it carelessly, letting it dangle around her feet.  If it had been a blank canvas, I suspect it would have come in a store branded bag.  See what I mean about curiosity?  You’re wondering what, if anything, was on the other side too.

The bus was full of loud talkers, which is rarely the case when I am on my way home. That isn’t true.  If I am going home late, bar closing late, there tends to be a rowdier crowd, but before eight I expect everyone to be somewhat work weary and contemplative.  Perhaps I am just projecting myself onto others…

As I said, I am a victim of curiosity. I kept looking over at the bag, hoping its graceful dangle would rotate its front in my direction.  Alas, that didn’t seem to be happening.  The bus violently leaped over the uneven road surface, but the face of the canvas stayed away.  The bus veered around construction sites, but still the painting went unrevealed.  No amount of jostling, or even inconsiderate commuters who bumped into the bag while attempting to exit the bus aided in my quest.

Obviously, it was up to me.

When there were fewer passengers on the bus, I made eye contact and said, “Excuse me. I am sorry to bother you, but I was wondering what your paining is of?”  Before you start complaining about my leaving the dangling preposition, and wondering how I can call myself an English teacher, just let it go.  Let it go!

She gracefully showed me the picture. She had painted some birch trees that were shielding a clearing (I want to write glade, but I am unsure if this is the right word).  I am not going to lie and tell you it was a masterpiece and that I discovered the next artist of the century.  I can say, however, that it was pretty good.  The composition was good and the details were fine.  I always think of birch trees as having a texture, and that could have been better.

We did manage to have a short conversation before she had to leave the bus. She told me that she hadn’t painted in a while and she had gone to a “painting event”.   She explained that she had found it incredibly relaxing.  It was at that moment that I realized that she was discovering a lost love.  Her posture changed and her face lit up.  I had no doubt that painting would become a bigger part of her life.

I should have asked her about the painting sooner.

 

What Others Say about Online Dating

One of my colleagues explained her online dating experiences to me while we took the subway to our destinations after work. It was a look into a world that so many have encouraged me to join.

Since this was not the first time she mentioned it, and not the first time one of my colleagues have talked about it, I am beginning to understand just how usual it is. On the other hand, maybe I am concluding that because not one of our fellow subway passengers bothered to listen in on our conversation–and we weren’t speaking in hushed tones either.

Today and past discussions have imparted the following information. Feel free to disagree with them because these are the (mostly) unedited thoughts of my colleagues and other people who have weighed in on the subject.

• There are lots of people out there.
• There are lots of people who aren’t looking for a serious relationship.
• Most people are on multiple sights with slightly different profiles.
• Pictures lie or aren’t current.
• Grammar mistakes in your profile are inexcusable (I work with teachers, so I guess this shouldn’t be so surprising, should it).
• People are just shopping.
• You’ve got to wade through a lot of stuff to get to the cream of the crop.
• It’s hard to meet people.
• Married people just don’t understand.

As for me, I am just waiting to take a good picture of myself.

 

The Magic of Books

Books are fantastic. Not only do they let you travel to interesting words, they also allow you to meet people you might not.  I am not good at meeting women in bars, regardless of the amount of liquid courage coursing through my veins, but I have managed to meet plenty of people over books at bookstores, libraries, and on subway cars.

Today, I noticed a young woman glancing at my book. I could tell that she was wondering what I was reading, but probably wasn’t going to ask.  I could have held the book up high and pointed the cover in her direction, but I wasn’t especially proud of the book I was reading.  It is rather light fare that is either brilliant for its lack of chronology and artful violence or a rather hacked piece of work.  I am as yet undecided, but am leaning towards hack.

Instead, I just looked at her and told her that it wasn’t a particularly good book. This sparked an interesting conversation about books, bicycle helmets, crime statistical research (her field) ESL teaching (mine) and several other things.

Normally the ride on the subway is long and tedious, but I looked up and it was almost over. This was something we both noted, myself with some bittersweetness, her with some surprise (though I hope there was some bittersweet in there too).  It was probably the best flowing conversation I have had with a stranger in quite a while.  There were no awkward pauses, no fumbling for topics….of course, I also have to recognize that I teach ESL students and most of my conversations with them contain some struggles.

Thanks again books, you have provided me with Today’s Perfect Moment.